Equality

I know that I have a lot of family and friends that disagree with me on this. However, I feel the need to state my mind on this.
Please be patient with me as I stumble my way through making my points. I have a lot to say, and I am not sure how to get it all out.
 I support gay marriage. I do not believe that those who are gay, choose to be gay. I believe people fall in love.
I have heard so many stories of boys figuring out they were gay, while in fifth or sixth grade. I do not believe that those boys would go through the literal torture of being constantly teased, just to rebel. (Trust me, I have first hand experience of being bullied for one reason or another, it is pure torture.)
I don't see a problem with people who are gay getting married, because it doesn't hurt me. It doesn't hurt my family. I don't care if one day I have to explain to Little Miss why someone has two mom's or two dads. I am more afraid of trying to explain abuse to her.
I view same sex marriages as a civil rights issue. I do not believe that we have the right to tell others who they can and can not love.
It bothers me so much that there are so many people, who can not accept others for who they are. I am not going to change who I am to make someone else happy, and I don't believe anyone else should have to either.
A friend of my worded it far better than I can right now:
"Do you really believe in freedom? For everyone? Or just the people who want to live how YOU believe is best? Equality is deep and tricky. It takes a great deal of unselfishness, strength of character, and loyalty to country to allow people to live as they see just, to live their own "pursuit of happiness". So long as no one is harming anyone else, let freedom TRULY ring."


Image was stolen from the internet. So if the image is yours, sorry.

Understanding

I get migraines. I have been getting them since I was 14. I have a lot of triggers that are mental. Meaning, the more stressed I am, or the more upset or anxious I am, the more likely I am to get one.
I wish more people understood what a migraine was. It isn't simply a headache. So hear is what a migraine is and some of the symptoms, this is from the US National Library of Medicine:

Migraine

Headache - migraine

Last reviewed: December 14, 2011.

A migraine is a common type of headache that may occur with symptoms such as nausea, vomiting, or sensitivity to light. In many people, a throbbing pain is felt only on one side of the head.

Some people who get migraines have warning symptoms, called an aura, before the actual headache begins. An aura is a group of symptoms, including vision disturbances, that are a warning sign that a bad headache is coming.

See also:

• Cluster headache  
• Tension headache

Causes, incidence, and risk factors

Migraine headaches tend to first appear between the ages of 10 and 45. Sometimes they may begin later in life.

• Migraines occur more often in women than men
• Migraines may run in families
• Some women, but not all, may have fewer migraines when they are pregnant

A migraine is caused by abnormal brain activity, which can be triggered by a number of factors. However, the exact chain of events remains unclear. Today, most medical experts believe the attack begins in the brain, and involves nerve pathways and chemicals. The changes affect blood flow in the brain and surrounding tissues.

Alcohol, stress and anxiety, certain odors or perfumes, loud noises or bright lights, and smoking may trigger a migraine. Migraine attacks may also be triggered by:

• Caffeine withdrawal
• Changes in hormone levels during a woman's menstrual cycle or with the use of birth control pills
• Changes in sleep patterns
• Exercise or other physical stress
• Missed meals
• Smoking or exposure to smoke

Migraine headaches can be triggered by certain foods. The most common are:

• Any processed, fermented, pickled, or marinated foods, as well as foods that contain monosodium glutamate (MSG)
• Baked goods, chocolate, nuts, peanut butter, and dairy products
• Foods containing tyramine, which includes red wine, aged cheese, smoked fish, chicken livers, figs, and certain beans
• Fruits (avocado, banana, citrus fruit)
• Meats containing nitrates (bacon, hot dogs, salami, cured meats)
• Onions

This list may not include all triggers.

True migraine headaches are not a result of a brain tumor or other serious medical problem. However, only an experienced health care provider can determine whether your symptoms are due to a migraine or another condition.

Symptoms

Vision disturbances, or aura, are considered a "warning sign" that a migraine is coming. The aura occurs in both eyes and may involve any or all of the following:

• A temporary blind spot
• Blurred vision
• Eye pain
• Seeing stars or zigzag lines
• Tunnel vision

Other warning signs include yawning, difficulty concentrating, nausea, and trouble finding the right words.

Not every person with migraines has an aura. Those who do usually develop one about 10 - 15 minutes before the headache. However, an aura may occur just a few minutes to 24 hours beforehand. A headache may not always follow an aura.

Migraine headaches can be dull or severe. The pain may be felt behind the eye or in the back of the head and neck. For many patients, the headaches start on the same side each time. The headaches usually:

• Feel throbbing, pounding, or pulsating
• Are worse on one side of the head
• Start as a dull ache and get worse within minutes to hours
• Last 6 to 48 hours

Other symptoms that may occur with the headache include:

• Chills
• Increased urination
• Fatigue
• Loss of appetite
• Nausea and vomiting
• Numbness, tingling, or weakness
• Problems concentrating, trouble finding words
• Sensitivity to light or sound
• Sweating

Symptoms may linger even after the migraine has gone away. Patients with migraine sometimes call this a migraine "hangover." Symptoms can include:

• Feeling mentally dull, like your thinking is not clear or sharp
• Increased need for sleep
• Neck pain

Something About Me

I like things simple. I also like the big things in life simple. I see no use for a giant house. I see no use for expensive cars that serve little purpose. If my little family stays small (which is a very big possibility), than I want a house that fits our family, and our needs. I don't need a giant house. Even if I were to become a multimillionaire (which I doubt), I still would not want a big house.
If it were feasible I would move somewhere that is out in open space, but still close to a city so that I would be able to get what I need. I would love to have an acre yard, big enough for Kate and the puppy to run. Somewhere that I could take things slower, instead of constantly running. My life isn't about money. I don't want to become rich. I want to live. I want to enjoy life. I don't care what society thinks I should want, or what it thinks I should need. I want my daughter to have fun, and love life too.

This song expresses my thoughts almost perfectly:

Music, Poems & Books

Have any of you had music, poems and/or books that have just touched you deeply, and you don't know why? I have all the time. It is like one of these things touche a part of my soul. There are so many songs that when they come on, or when I hear them I love them instantly. It doesn't matter if the song gets over played on the radio (usually). There are times that I try to force myself to read a book, but it isn't what my soul wants, so it will take me forever to read it. There are poems that for whatever reason I love instantly. I believe this is why I have such an eclectic taste in music, and books. I believe this is why some people fall in love with some art pieces.
With that said, I also believe that some of this is because the author, the artist, whoever puts a part of themselves into it.
I also believe that since these songs are so much apart of who I am, it is why I stop when they come on the radio, or when my iPod starts playing them.

Here are some of the songs, that for whatever reason I just absolutely love.












There are a lot more, but here are just a few.

Facing Fears

I am not really sure where to start with this. So please have patience with me as I fumble my way through this.

I have been working on a project since around Halloween last year. Unfortunately since Mr. Jerk broke into my house and stole my laptop, my project got put on hold.
My project, is my story. It is an explanation as to why I do somethings, and why I feel the way I do about somethings.
In order for me to tell this story, I have been trying to make myself remember somethings. These things are things I have forgotten on purpose. They are memories that are filled with pain and anger. I have been afraid of facing these things. I am scared that remembering will bring back everything. While I was going to school, I lived in a constant state of fear. I hid it. I hid everything. I didn't want people outside of the situation to know what was going on. Turns out I was really good at hiding my feelings. Now over a decade later, I have buried everything, and I am trying to face some of it.
After a email conversation with a friend I began questioning, what I was afraid of. I realized I am just scared. This fear is because I know for the most part what is hidden, and I know I buried it for a reason. I am worried I am not strong enough to deal with all of it. I am afraid that when I remember one thing, everything will come flooding back.
A friend posted on his blog about breathing. This came at a time when I needed it. My project has been on hold for months. I have been afraid to start it again. I am wondering if this is something that will help me.
Here is a link to his blog. He is such an amazing person, and he has a super cute family!
Pearce On Earth

Respect

Respect is a big thing for me. So it drives me crazy when people cannot or do not respect others. It makes me mad, I don't understand why people cannot respect other people. There are people that I interact with daily that don't have respect for themselves let alone anyone else. Why is there so little respect now? Why is it that people think respect should be earn, when there should be a amount of respect given to a person to begin with? Why would someone want to earn your respect if you treat them like dirt? Why is it that so many adults act like kids and think it is alright?
To me respect and common courtesy go hand in hand. How can you have one with out the other?

I should note that I am not saying that everyone disrespects people all the time, they just have no respect for anyone or anything. In reality my two year old (almost three) has more respect for others than most adults. She doesn't care where they work, or who their friends are. She just loves people. I hope she does not lose this trait.

New Things

We bought a boxer puppy! We get to bring him home in just a few weeks, and I am so excited. I know he is going to be a lot of work, and I know he is going to need a whole dang lot of attention, but it is worth it. Ever since our house was broken into I have had a hard time being home alone. The puppy isn't going to fix this, but it will help make it better. Especially when in about a year he will be close to 80 pounds. I am also looking forward to the dog and Kate wearing each other out.

When we first went to the sellers house, I brought Kate. I wanted to see how the parents and Kate did. The puppies were only a week old, so Kate of course loved them, and they just liked any attention. When I asked the seller if I could bring Kate, she said that was great, she also gave a slight warning. She said that her two year old nephew is a little intimidated by the dad for the first few minutes, due to the size of the dog.
I was a little nervous at how Kate would react since she hasn't been around any big dogs. The dad (Hulk) loved Kate, and Kate had no fear of the dog what so ever. I think she liked Hulk better than the puppies. Probably because we didn't have to tell her to she had be very gentle with the big dogs.
It is kind of hard to see, but here is a picture of the dad. He is probably about 70 pounds now and still growing. He had is head down slightly giving us the "puppy dog look" because he wanted to come play with all of us. He was such a sweet dog. The mom is also super sweet, she is smaller than Hulk though.


We have been debating names. For some reason we have been thinking about the Greek Gods. We have talked about: Ares, Apollo, Hermes, Hephaestus, and Hercules. I have been leaning towards Hercules. Kraig keeps going back and forth. For a while he like Hephaestus.

Here are a few more pictures of him.
This one he is a week old in.


Snuggling with his mama, at about two weeks old.


Playing in the snow for the first time, at about three weeks old.


Kraig holding him when we went to visit him last Saturday.


Puppy taking a nap yesterday, now he is about four weeks old.

It feels like there is so much going on, but I really can't think of what. We just doing our normal thing.