Getting to Know Me: Baking...Plus a couple of random things

I hate baking. For a very short time I liked baking, then it became one of my chores. I had to make cookies three or four times a week, this started this around the time I was 12. I was finally able to quit doing it when I got a job at 16. I love making easy throw together desserts like trifles or dump cakes. However, I am not a huge fan of making cookies or cakes from scratch anymore. If I do I usually don't eat it, and give it away, which can drive Kraig a little nuts sometimes.
I have said before that I don't really cook either. I am not great at it, but I am not bad. I keep thinking I should take a cooking class. I the only thing is if I do this I want to do it with someone. The thing is, whoever I took the class would have to really know me. I am not talking about a superficial friendship, but someone that gets me, that knows my weird side, that understands my quiet side, and that can handle my hyper side. Unfortunately that leaves only a handful people...

My birthday is this week. I use to really hate my birthday, some of it was I always got exactly what I asked for growing up, clothes and books. Always knowing every year exactly what you are getting kills any element of surprise that maybe part of birthdays. Plus I am one of those people that believes in shopping for the person you are getting a present for. Which means I don't get them what I want, I get them things they would like and enjoy, or I give them gift cards because that is what they would like. A few years ago I decided I deserved to celebrate my birthday. I deserved to celebrate the life I have. I usually don't do anything big, last year a few friends, Kraig and I went out to dinner, this year a couple of days after my birthday I am hosting a game night with a few of my friends. I am excited that I get the chance to do this. All I want is a chance to spend time with friends, laugh, and celebrate what I have.

Best Christmas present ever!!

Lastly, I love books. I know I have said this before. I love that they an be an escape and away to heal.

Getting to Know Me: A Few Surprising Facts About Me

I have decided to do a weekly post (or at least close to weekly) on getting to know me. I will still do random posts about our life and things going on too.

I have always been a deeply emotional person. I feel somethings with such depth that it can very difficult. When I was in high school, I was in a place that I felt consumed by fear. By the time I graduated, I was in a constant state of defense. I was so stressed out I would look at food and want to throw up, I was so skinny it was kind of scary. I knew I had to move out of my house. After talking to one of my uncles, and arranging things with him, I was going to move into his and one of my other uncles house. I told my mom I was doing it, but I never told my dad, or my siblings. I didn't want either of my to tell my dad. A few days after talking to my uncle I moved out. I was about a month away from my 19th birthday. The day I moved out my dad was at work, and while my uncles were helping me pack my stuff in my car, and a few things in their cars, my sister call my dad and told my dad at work that I was moving out. He was so mad. For the next month or so I lived with my uncles, and then I moved from Salt Lake to St. George and moved in with my grandparents. Again, I told my mom, but I didn't tell my dad or my siblings. I am not sure when my mom told my dad that I had moved to St. George.
During the month or so that I was living with my uncles, if I had a night off work and I didn't know if my uncles would be home, I would drive around the valley. I did not want to be home alone, because I didn't want my dad to show up and not have my uncles around.

This is a song that I love, and in a lot of way it describes how I felt when I moved out.


In high school, I was pretty much on of the "good" girls, but I wasn't quite perfect enough to be a "Molly Mormon". So a couple of months after my 21st birthday, I did something that kind of surprised a lot of people that knew me. I eloped to Vegas (there is a very long story behind this, so if you want to know my side, just let me know). We were married by the Justice of the Peace, and we had pulled our witnesses off the street. The really crazy thing was I married a guy I had never really dated. We had hung out a lot, and he was one of my best friends, but never officially dated. This year will be our 13th wedding anniversary.

I once tried to take a class at Dixie College while I was living in St. George. It was just fitness, but I failed it. I also decided that since I had no idea what I should do with my life, I wasn't going to waste money going to school until I knew what I wanted. Now I still have no idea what I want to do, and I have never gone back to school. I am not where I thought I would end up, but I never really knew what I wanted to be, so I had no real directions to begin with. Plus now I have changed so much from who I was in high school, that I am not sure I would still have the same dreams I had then.

A Few Random Things

I heard a rumor today, that I am really hoping that is untrue, or doesn't happen. I heard that it is supposed to start snowing in the higher elevations tomorrow. I don't want it to snow! I love Fall, and I love Spring, I am not a fan of the snow. However I prefer the cold. I don't do well in heat. There is a lot more you can do to get warm than to get cool.

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I am tired of the wind. I really hate the wind. I swear the wind has been blowing a lot more the last few years during Spring and Fall than I remember it doing when I was in high school.

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There is a random movie goof up, that I can't help but notice every time I was watch it now! In the 1995 "Sense & Sensibility" with Emma Thompson and Hugh Grant. Elinor and Maryanne are trying to get home from London. They are traveling with the Palmer's to their home, and then they are supposed to continue home with Colonel Brandon. When they get to the Palmer's, Maryanne goes for a walk. Elinor was keeping an eye on Maryanne from in the house. Maryanne disappears, and it start to rain hard.Colonel Brandon goes to find Maryanne. Elinor is standing by the window watching for her when Mr. Palmer (Hugh Laurie) hands Elinor a cup of tea, and says something to the effect of: Colonel Brando will find her, but they can guess where she went. Then Mrs. Palmer hands an empty handed Elinor a cup of tea.
Now when you watch the movie you will see it too, and maybe it will drive you as nuts as it drives me!

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This week is Banned Book Week. I don't believe in banning books. I believe that people (including kids) should have the right to the books they want. I will say that I do believe Erotic Fiction should be kept out of school libraries, but other than that I don't see a reason to limit the rights of kids. I understand that some parents don't want their kids to read something, and that should be something between parent and child. I don't think because a parent or two get offended by something that they should keep other peoples kids from reading books.
Banning books is not really about "protecting kids", it's about keeping information from people, which is a violation of their rights. Other governments and some religions will only allow their people to read what they approve. It is away to keep people from questioning, and it keeps people from learning. We live in a country where we have a lot of freedoms that many other countries don't have. We are taking away those freedoms by banning books. If you don't like a book, don't read it. If you don't want your kids to read it, talk to them. If it is required reading talk to their teacher, most teachers will assign them a different book to read while the class reads the book.
Here is the top 10 books that have been either banned or challenged in 2012.

·  Captain Underpants (series), by Dav Pilkey.

·  The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, by Sherman Alexie.

·  Thirteen Reasons Why, by Jay Asher.

·  Fifty Shades of Grey, by E. L. James.

·  And Tango Makes Three, by Peter Parnell and Justin Richardson.

·  The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini.

·  Looking for Alaska, by John Green.

·  Scary Stories (series), by Alvin Schwartz

·  The Glass Castle, by Jeanette Walls

·  Beloved, by Toni Morrison

The only book on this list I don't think should be in schools is Fifty Shades, I think that is the only book that is not suitable for kids under the age of 18.
In 2012 there was a total of 464 books challenged. That is a whole lot of books!

An Explanation

The last several weeks have been kind of rough for me. Partly due to things that have been happening, and partly due to things going on in my head (don't worry, I am not going to explain what is going on in my head). With several of the things that have been happening, I have decided there was one major change I had to make.

I have decided that I don't need to be reachable 24/7. If someone can't get a hold of me, oh well. I have the right to be away from my phone, or out of cell range. I also have the right to not answer it if I don't want, or if I am busy doing something else. I hate talking on the phone. I prefer text and email. Talking on the phone causes anxiety for me. I know there are several people out there that don't understand this, and that's fine they don't need to understand, all they need to know is that if I don't want to answer my phone I am not going to. I have also started turning my cell phone off at night again. If something happens in the middle of the night, I will do much better at handling whatever it is in the morning after some sleep. Also if you call my phone, and I don't answer, don't expect me to call you back if you don't leave a voice mail. I assume that if it wasn't important enough for you to leave me a message, then I don't need to call you back.

The Persuasion Movies

This is my review of two of the Persuasion movies based on the Jane Austen novel. Really quick I will mention the 1971 version, all I can say for that version is it seems dry to me. I have a hard time with it.

As for the two movies I am going to review, I am going to do a side by side comparison of the two. I love both movies for very different reasons. The 1995 version follows the book a little better than the 2008 version, but they both have very good things about them. 

First the characters.

Anne is played by Amanda Root (1995) and Sally Hawkins (2008). Amanda Root does a good job at playing Anne, in a lot of ways she fits the character description from the book. She seems a little old for the character, but she fits well with Ciaran Hinds who plays Wentworth (more on him later). Sally Hawkins, I find myself loving her and hating her as Anne. I think she is kind of pretty, and she plays Anne well, but there is just something about her that doesn't sit well with me, and I can't really say what. I don't really have a favorite between these two. I really like them both, but they both have things about them that seem off.

Mary is played by Sophie Thompson (1995) and Amanda Hale (2008).  I like Sophie Thompson as Mary, she does a very great job. She plays the prideful, snobby sister very well. It is a little over played in some places, but it isn't bad.  I think Amanda is pretty, and she does an alright job, but Mary in this version comes off more petty, and ridiculous, so she comes off as fake, and almost dumb.

Lady Russell is played by Susan Fleetwood (1995). In this version Lady Russell seems to be unbending and very strict. She does a good job at playing her, and she comes off as very elegant. In the 2008 version Lady Russell is played by Alice Krige. In this version Lady Russell seems more apologetic but still seems to want to push Anne in the direction she thinks is best without really listening to what Anne wants. I like both of them as Lady Russell, they both even look a little alike, but I think my favorite is Susan Fleetwood.

The Musgrove sisters: In the 1995 version Emma Roberts plays Louisa, and Victoria Hamilton plays Henrietta. In this version the two sisters seem to be more grounded, and not so silly. In the 2008 version Jennifer Higham plays Louisa, and Rosamund Stephen plays Henrietta. In this one they seem almost like silly school girls, they don't appear as often as they do in the other version. I like Emma & Victoria better as the sisters, they seem more like real sisters.

Charles Musgrove is played by Simon Russell Beale (1995), and Sam Hazeldine (2008). I love Simon as Charles. He seems to fit the part very well, and his character seems grounded more. He also seems to fit very well with Sophie Thompson. I find Sam's character to be flighty and also ridiculous. He does alright, but I think I just prefer Simon Russell Beale's portrayal of Charles better.

Sir Walter Elliot is played by Corin Redgrave (1995), and Anthony Head (2008). Even though you aren't suppose to really like Sir Walter, I find myself not liking Anthony Head as Sir Walter at all. I find Corin Redgrave does a much better job at being vain and facetious. Anthony Head does a great job of being arrogant and prideful, but it seems wrong. 

Elizabeth Elliot is played by Phoebe Nicholls (1995), and Julia Davis (2008). I like Phoebe Nicholls as Elizabeth much better. She is very pretty. She also seems more elegant and refined, maybe a little younger than Elizabeth is suppose to be, but I like her better than I like Julia Davis. Julia's Elizabeth seems a little too old, and not refined enough.

Admiral Croft is played by John Woodvine (1995) and Peter Wright (2008). This one I like both portrayals, but I think John Woodvine seems to fit better as the Admiral. He seems more like an Admiral in the Navy, than Peter Wright did.

Mrs. Croft is played by Fiona Shaw (1995) and Marion Bailey (2008). I love Fiona Shaw as Mrs. Croft. I think she does a great job, and the natural chemistry between her and John Woodvine makes her character seem more real. Marion does a good job as well, but it just seems off to me. I promise it is not because I love Harry Potter either. I actually hate Fiona Shaw's character in Harry Potter.

Quick note on Captain Harville , I like both actors that play him. However I think Joseph Mawle's (2008) character seems to know Captain Wentworth's history better. They seem in some ways a lot closer friends. Even though in the 1995 version you can't mistake the fondness that Captain Wentworth as for Captain Harville.

 Now for Captain Wentworth. Captain Wentworth is played by Ciaran Hinds (1995) and Rupert Penry-Jones. This one is hard. I love Ciaran Hinds as Captain Wentworth, but I also love Rupert. Ciaran Hinds seems to fit with a Navy Captain more. Rupert Penry-Jones has the contempt and resentfulness down well. Rupert Penry-Jones is super cute too. I love them both as Captain Wentworth, and I think they both do a great job. I think that both men do great portrayals of the Captain, and you can see why Anne is still in love with him.

There are a few scenes that I love out of both movies.

There is a scene in between Rupert Penry-Jones and Sally Hawkins. Anne is playing the piano, and Captain Wentworth stands quietly and watches her. I wish that the longer he stood and watched, the look on his face would change to a more upset look instead of complete contempt. He is supposed to still love her, and in this scene it just make is look like he is completely angry with her. Which he is angry, but I still kind of wish they could have softened the look a little.

There is a scene right after Louisa's accident in Lyme. I keep going back and forth on this. I like the scene in both movies, but in the 2008 version I think that Captain Wentworth and Anne should say something on the ride to the Musgroves. They just stare at each other. 

There is the scene where Anne and Captain Wentworth run into each other for the first time in Bath. I love the scene between Rupert and Sally. The scene between Ciaran and Amanda I also love, but it also bothers me a little because of Mr. Elliot.

There is a scene before the concert, and in the 1995 movie, I love it. It is the first time Captain Wentworth actually talks to Anne, and tells her any of his feelings.

Than the scene during the concert (in both movies), where Captain Wentworth gets mad at walks out. I hate it, it makes me sad.

In both movies there is a scene where Captain Wentworth has a "commission" from the Admiral. I like the scene in the 2008 movie better. In the 1995 version Anne is already very agitated, and is not able to tell Captain Wentworth anything, especially since Lady Russell walks in. In the 2008 movie, Anne is also agitated a little bit, but more from the thought of talking to Captain Wentworth more than anything else, so in this one she is able to tell him that the Admiral was misinformed and that the information is not true. 

Which brings me to the letter scenes. The letter scene for the 1995 movie follows the book very well, and I love it!! The letter scene for the 2008 movie kind of drives me crazy. Anne is trying to chase down Captain Wentworth but everyone keeps getting in her way or stops her. It almost makes me dizzy to watch her running trying to catch him.

Now once they catch up with Captain Wentworth, in both movies the kiss seems to take forever for them to actually kiss, why?? After eight and a half years, I don't think it would take that long for two people to kiss each other. 

However I adore the ending of the 2008 movie,which doesn't follow the book. The only thing about it that bugs me, is her giggle, I think it is a little high pitched for my taste. However the rest of it, I love. It seems to fit. I also love that they end up dancing on the lawn.

Just A Random Fact About Me

I am a passionate person. I feel things deeply. Whether it is the Scorpio in me, or just simply my nature, I don't know.

What this means is, when I am happy I am very happy. When I am sad, I am miserable. When I am angry, I can be extremely angry. It is why I can miss a person that I saw only a few hours ago. It is why I can become so attached to people, or stories, or even characters. It also means that when I mess up, and I owe someone an apology it eats at me until I can give it.

Which brings me to the reason for this post. A little more than 17 years ago, I accidentally hurt someone. In the process really hurting myself. I owe this person a very big apology. Nothing major happened. I didn't truly listen to this person, or my gut feeling, the last time I saw them. I can't seem to find him online, and it is starting to drive me crazy. I hate that I hurt this person. He may not even remember it, but it doesn't matter, because I do.

So to Mike K. I am sorry for how things went the last time I saw you in Cottonwood Mall, and I owe you an apology in person, I truly hope one day I can give it to you.

My top five rankings of the many Mr. Rochesters from Jane Eyre

Here is my top five rankings of Mr. Rochester from Jane Eyre. There are at least three other movies, probably more, but these are the five that I liked the most. Even though I have heard that Orson Wells does well too.

#5 Ciaran Hinds - In this version of Jane Eyre the script does not follow the book, almost at all. It is very cheesy, and I laughed at it more than it was supposed to. Ciaran is one of the few that closely resembles the character in the book, and he is a great actor, but his mustache looked so odd on him. I found myself wondering if it was real, often. The emotions in this version are a little dry, but they aren't completely lacking. On a side note, Ciaran Hinds is great as Capt. Wentworth in Persuasion.

#4 William Hurt - William looks nothing like the book description, but he does a great job. I love the scene right after the fire scene in this one. This version is better at following the book, but it is hard to fit a 500 page book into a two hour movie. There is a lot of emotion in this version, and it helps to explain a few things better.

#3 Timothy Dalton - Timothy is another that resembles the character in the book. He does such a great job of being "changeful & moody". This version is an eleven episode made for TV mini series by BBC, so this version follows the book a lot closer than the regular movies.

#2 Michael Fassbender - At first I didn't like him as much as I liked Timothy Dalton, however he has grown on me. I love how well he plays the moody part. I love the emotion in this version. Mia Wasikowska does great at playing the passionate Jane.

#1 Toby Stephens - I just recently watched this version. I feel in love with it. It is another BBC mini series, and the total run time is about 4 hours.It follows the book fairly well, but they do change some of the dialog, but it seems natural.Toby Stephens does such a great job at playing Mr. Rochester, he comes off as passionate, and real. I love how almost tangible the chemistry between Mr. Rochester and Jane is. Ruth Wilson also does a great job at playing Jane in this. This is my favorite version of the story, as well as my favorite Mr. Rochester. I also adore the ending of this, which funny enough does not follow the book completely, but it is by far the best ending.