Just Thinking

(My dad, sister, brother, and me)

 In about three weeks, it will be ten years since my dad passed away. I still have no idea how I feel about it. The only thing that has ever really made me miss him, has been trying to deal with my grandpa that has dementia. I have often wondered how things would be if he had never gotten sick. I also wondered how things would be if he had survived the cancer. I wish that putting everything that is bottled up into words was possible, but it isn't. My dad was not my favorite person, he was not someone that I could talk to, and most of the time he didn't understand who I was. However because of what he was, I became who I am, for good or bad.

(My dad's favorite past-time)

(I am not sure when this picture was taken, I don't know if it was after he got sick, or not)

Kate's 2nd Birthday!

Kate had her birthday last weekend, and we celebrated all weekend! Saturday we met all of Kate's cousins at Wheeler Farm. She had a blast! She loved animals, and she loved playing with her cousins! Once she was done sitting in her stroller, she wanted to push it! She found a horse her size, she thought that was funny. She found the big horses, she didn't want to leave them! Hanging out with all the cousins as they came! One of her cousins playing on the tractor Playing on the playground & eating cookies! Sorry this one is blurring, but it was too funny not to put up. On Sunday first thing we opened birthday presents, mom couldn't wait anymore!! Than we sluffed church (bad I know), and went to a park for a picnic, it was such a beautiful day! Kate trying to hide from the camera she didn't want her picture taken. We than went to Grandpa & Grandma Oaks for dinner. She got to open a couple more presents, and had yummy ice cream & cupcakes! My little girl is no longer a baby

Feeling very discouraged

I have been running for about a month now. I haven't lost any weight at all. Maybe I need to go talk to my doctor. I have achy sore muscles, I am tired and warn out. I haven't lost anything, I haven't lost weight, I haven't lost inches. What is the point of all of this if nothing is changing? I feel very beaten down, right now I just want to quit.

Wishful Thinking

Today I was thinking that I wish there was a job that paid people to read books. When I say read books, I don't mean edit them. It would be so nice to read books all the time and get paid for it. I am not enough of a critic to do real book reviews, so that's out. Oh well, it was just a nice thought.

Random Thoughts for the week

This week was the third week that I went running & exercising. I did it, Saturday was the only day I didn't do anything. I got too hot and ended up with a migraine. However I am not going to let this one day bother me, or upset me. I am get going to pick up on Monday and keep going. --- Why oh why does it have to be so hot already? Why couldn't the temperature stay in the 60's until June? I didn't mind last year's mild summer. Last summer it never hit 100. I was fine with that! --- My migraine still hasn't gone away. Plus it is still hot... --- I love goodreads.com, my to read list is now has more than 520 books!! --- I weighted myself for the first time in months this week, I thought that I lost weight, or at least stayed close to the weight was last time. Nope, I gained weighted. Grrr I am going to have to measure myself, and keep track if I am at least losing inches. --- I recently started trying to keep track of what I am eating again. I need to start eating more fruits and veggies. I don't eat enough. I am not sure I can get Kraig to eat more veggies though... Kate I won't have a problem with, she seems to like most veggies. --- My baby is going to be two in exactly one week!!! I can't believe it! Time flies, I hate it. I wish time would slow down more. I am looking forward to taking her to see all the animals! For those that can't come we will miss you!

Quick update: Week two

This week hasn't been very good for me. First off my stomach has been killing me since Monday night. So Tuesday instead of running, I went walking. Wednesday I still didn't feel well, and I ended up not doing anything. I hated that I didn't do anything. So Thursday I did run, but I could only do half of what I had been doing last week. Friday, nothing went the way it was suppose to. Today I am going to run. Even though this week hasn't been a very good week, I am not going to quit. I know there will be good weeks and bad weeks.
I have been debating joining my city rec center. The problem is I don't really have the money to do it. Plus I joined a gym years ago, and I after a while I quit going, it turned out to be such a waste of money. I would like to know what every one thinks about this. Please tell me your thoughts.

I made it through my first week!

As most of you know I started running last week. I am happy to report I stuck to my schedule of running Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, and doing exercise video's Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
I doing a program where you slowly work up the time long you run for. So I have been walking one minute than running one minute, for about 15 minutes. Plus a five minute walk to warm up, and a five minute walk to cool down.
This is what I have learned, that if I either forget my timer, or accidentally forget to hit the start button, it's alright. I just need to listen to my body. I know this means that there maybe times when I walk for more than a minute and run for less than a minute. I am fine with that, because I am still doing it. I am still trying, and still pushing myself. I am not doing this for other people, I am doing it for me.
I know that there are going to be a few people out there that feel they should give me advise, all I can say to that is, please keep your comments to yourself. I am not planning on running a marathon, ever. I am not planning on ever running any race. I am simply running to relieve stress. Please understand, I am not saying this to be rude, I am saying this because I am not you. I have my own way of doing things. If you do decide to give me your advise anyway, please know that I may not do what you tell me.
I am happy to announce that by running, working out, and taking the Sam-e, my mood is better. I am not seeing it drop so much at night. It is still not always great, and things still affect me greatly, but it is better.